Tuesday, February 22, 2011


Hey again, I probably won't write something this long or like this till maybe the weekend, so I hope you enjoyed this and I want to thank all the real people who made these night's happen.
So upon meeting the girl there were a few guys around her talking and from afar and in a proper light I'd probably have the worst chance if I were trying to pick her up. One guy looked like a basketball star, black hair, charming smile and a jaw that could have cut steak with one fall, the other a tan guy with short black hair, like that of an insecure porcupine. He had a fairly deep voice and was often laughing at all that she said. Pudgy, unkempt hair, braces and an accent which didn't fit me, I was probably not the best contender. She did ask us all at one point if she knew any good guys for her sister Laura, both guys declined humbly and with one reason or another, I said that I'd usually be plagued with a lack of confidence but I feel tonight I'm a pretty good guy. She asked me if I was under the influence of anything, I declined and then she asked if anyone had something to drink and found someone with straight gin. She downed an entire mouthful before commenting on how it burnt, 'real bad'.
Doesn't look that flammable...

However, eventually those guys left and Ruth went down to the shore with her family and asked me to  come down too. They were all mucking around in the water, Laura being the best, by kicking up the waves whenever they would reach knee level, but feverishly running and giggling when it would just be below her ankles. Ruth handed me her camera and asked me to take a shot of her family, unfortunately the camera continued to tell us "Battery Exhausted", a humourous note if there ever was one from an American camera. She had spares and quickly tried to fish them out of her tiny bag she had brung. We tried over and over again replacing the batteries to no avail. No one in her family had camera had one on them, battery or photo device alike. Ruth went to talk to one of her relatives and after a few minutes of standing like a dope I walked off angry at myself.
I returned to Hayward and Lara had finished talking to some guys and was sitting beside Hayward and a group of guys who were all talking about how good nostaglic films were and how viewing them now ruined said nostalgia. They mentioned Flubber and someone shouted "That's how we'll get there", I was confused but the outburst caused Lara to blurt out one of her patented gaffaws. There was a lengthy discussion with extensive detail about how they'd get to one of the tankers that was floating out to sea, despite the fact he'd taken them off. One of Hayward's acquaintances was commenting on how he shouldn't worry about tripping his shoes on one of the islands out there. Hayward agreed he would be safe with Flubber shoes and they all laughed. I told Lara I was gonna go find some water and she tagged along.
Wherefore art thou public bubbler?

We went up the ridge to find a group of people who still sitting around the hookah, the drums had disbanded and someone had broken out a guitar. I got closer to the middle of the area when I noticed some fresh faces and the long red hair of someone familiar. It was Ted, Bon and Mike, some old friends from high school and of course, as you know Ted. The girl turned around and it was Hayward's girlfriend Amelie, we both called each other's name in high pitched voices and hugged quite quickly. We both laughed afterwards about how odd that would have seemed for everyone but us. I talked to Mike about how his film was going. He's currently shooting a full length feature and I can't wait to see it when it's done.He raised the funds himself, found the location, wrote the script, everything. The Dude's a powerhouse. Got all his friends to work for him and even cast actors from heaps far out of state. It's incredible, this was all news to Amelie who may or may not have met Mike before. Bon had been working on and off and I asked him about his musical projects, he said they were all really busy at the moment. I understood as his tone was a lot more solemn than expected from my Tigger-esque question and delivery.
Pictured: Not me

Amelie and I began to walk back to the beach and I introduced Lara who she had mate previously at a Claire's 21st. Amelie was no stranger to meeting people randomly and them either remember who they were or completely forgetting. We went back to the beach and Amelie had spotted Hayward simply based on his posture, it was a distinct fact if there ever was one about the black haired kid.
Lara sat down in the sand and had noticed that Bourne had disappered from his usual spot. He was now surrounded by Greg and Dani, despite Jeff getting up moments later to get his hand into the fire-twirling act. Bourne had remarked whilst shifting his head between the tiny Dani and now the emerging trees of my lower legs trying to hide himself. He was being stalked by a guy, who previously was described by M as the cutest guy she had ever seen in red; Sean did not agree. He was being a bit too forward and had been sending a series of fairly overly sensitive text messages from somewhere mysterious, more stalkerish, than Narnia mysterious.
Lara decided to protect him and keep him out of harms way. I talked to Hayward for a bit and Amelie then left to go back up to the ridge, I decided to go with her as my quest for water had been hardly fulfilled.
Two of the only thousand of men who can pull off beards

When I went back up to the ridge, the guys had gone and I noticed M talking with Dawson and Jock just below the ridge. I talked to Amelie as she was talking to a girl named Tara or Tess or something beginning with a T and they commented previously in the night how I called her a cougar and was going to dance with her. Shocked by this compeltely I was calmed down afterwards and on the train up to Sydney with what had happened and what I actually remembered was the fact that Hayward was sharing my story with Amelie and the T-Girl and had created a fictional scenario where I humbly declined the T-Girl playing the part of the cougar saying I was done with that stuff and said I was sorry. I was fairly wasted that night.
Oh and if you wanted to hear how my trip to Sydney went, think of this as a brief intermission and a fairly pointless recap.
Thong broke
Got on train
Met Hayward
Hayward slept
I fell in and out of sleeping whilst listening to some tracks
Hayward woke up
We talked a lot
We got to the train station
We got sushi
I remembered we were going to a Japanese restaurant
He couldn't care less, later on neither could I
We walked for a bit before I just took my thongs off.
I walked barefoot from Bondi Junction to Bronte. Feet are fine
We get to Miz's (named after her enjoyment of Hugo's Les), she looks great
I give her my gift, a Renoir covered notebook which I've written internally: Now to make your masterpiece (PS No pressure) She seemed amused. I ask if we would be drinking before hand. She said we shouldn't bother because there's a tab and I'm a lightweight.
So's my cat.

We waited around, they had dinner, it was a small meal, salad, tuna, not a fan, ate a peach, I am Rorshach.
We all got ready, went to the restaurant, nearly saw a fight across the road at the pub.
We all sat down, we met a few relatives. I ordered a Johnny Walker and Coke, it was $8, that was the only thing I paid for the entire night. I slowly sipped it and Miz is right, I'm a light weight. Beer and wine were on a tab (and later found out soft drink) and I was convinced to have the white wine, I drank it disdainfully with sips of the scotch.
I met a bunch of her friends that Miz talks about including an old friend named Eleanor who was the only person I remember from Miz's last birthday, other than a motorcycling couple who's name I sadly forget. I didn't really talk to either of them, due to the distance from me at the opposite end of a wooden table.
I was fairly warm and cosy by like 9 and I started getting hungry and then a girl came in who was introduced to me as Miz's Godsister. I wasn't explained the full terms till later on but from afar she looked like Dettina, a University friend who I have a severe dislike for many, many reasons, but up close she was gorgeous. Brown hair, that looked blonde in the right light, that seemed to cascade past her shoulders and a diverse knowledge in pop culture that made us both squeal with delight. We even talked about Pokemon, Doctor Who, who she wants to get into NIDA for costume design and how she's been doing costumes for her high school for the past few years and now she's getting paid to do them, as she's that awesome and she's now finished high school.
I spent the rest of the night downing wine, eating every little thing that was served and talking to her. Eventually we all left and Hayward was pretty tired. Miz kept saying she was going out and by that she meant just across the road. I looked at Hayward and then looked at her and considering my week and how I wanted to go to Tropfest the next day, I opted to going home, it was just after 11:30 anyway.
Also I turn back into a lonely maid at midnight

Hayward and I went back to Miz's and we promptly slept in the same bed in Miz's front loungeroom, it was really hot and we just slept in underwear, heads to tails. This was all fine, till a little after 1 when Hayward decided to get up to pee and promptly tipped the bed which catapulted me out of my slumber and onto Miz's hardwood floors, causing her friends prompt her wondering if clumsy burglars were in the house. Just clumsy house guests.
Now remember why you were reading this initially?
Well anyway, Hayward left sometime afterwards and I was talking with Amelie saying that I was gonna say goodbye to her and Ruth and M and then head off. I was walking toward the bench where Ruth and her relatives were, I said hey and was about to say goodbye when she asked me to sit next to her. We talked about her family and stuff like that before finally talking about how our night's were and she mentioned that she didn't see me dance before.
She categorised me as tightly wound and the British accent had not help disconnect me from said category. She asked why am I so shy and didn't dance and began to tell a story about her large relative, I believe he was named Mark and how he'd go to all the clubs in Jersey and New York and how doesn't matter how he danced, he'd always have a few girls around him. Despite being apart of a dance off earlier this year (with several witnesses including Hayward and Amelie), my experience with dancing has been less and less than successful as 'Mark's'.
She then dropped a bomb shell on me that I could have cared less for by saying I was much too young for her and that she was too old for me. She told me she was 27, which in the darkness I would have barely guessed nor recognised and I plainly told her so. I think she was letting me down easy but I kept my nerve and with Lara standing only metres away I chose my words carefully. For those who don't already know, Lara and I used to date and is a bit older than I. I have no prejudice against older women and have enjoyed the touch of an older woman before, several times...but that's a whole different story.
Yeah, that's about right...

Ruth mentioned several times that Lara looked as though she wanted to go, but she then got in a conversation with her uncle about Uni and stuff like that. I then found out that Laura was her cousin, not her sister and that she was amazed that people thought her relatives were from the US. She had a very strong accent but her family I'd have to really listen to get yet her uncle didn't have it at all. He was a thin grey haired man with a good, simple smile and an even better grasp of the English language than the average US citizen. I couldn't pick his accent and before I knew it, it was time to go for them. Ruth and I hugged and she began to walk with her family. I wished her and her family good luck and she said, "Next time you're at party, just dance, simple as that" and she walked away. I turned to Lara who smiled at me and then give me a look towards Ruth.
And ended up yelling "Our cultures are very different"
She yelled back "Just dance, you'll be fine"
And like that, the Jersey Girl was gone.
I told Lara that I just had to say goodbye to M and we could go. I walked past Amelie and told her how disasterous my goodbye was and she told me I probably did fine and if not, I wasn't gonna see her again, that's why I truly thought it was disasterous, then again, probably be worse if I saw her again. I doubt I'd be too memorable without a few moves she'd seen...also I was 'too young'  and...a mess of other insecurities. It was disasterous, let's just leave it at that.
I went down to the beach and said goodbye to M after she went off with Jock to the 'bathroom' briefly. Lara and I went back to the car where she recounted very simply and quite quickly that she had gotten a number. I rejoiced and picked her up and swung her around. She was more than shocked at my reaction, I then quickly began to sing at the highest point in my range and loud as fuck that:
"Then Lara got a number
She was talking with some guys
then Lara got a number
She was making a pyramid
then Lara got a number
I was talking with some chick
then Lara got a number!"

And so on and so forth. It was humourous to her every lyric I came up with. She told me when I walked away with Ruth, she had continued to talk to one of the human pyramid guys and as he was leaving she shook hands being all formal and such, and within her palm was his business card. I told her how awesome, sweet and sneaky that was. She was a lot more apprehensive and reserved about the situation, saying she probably won't call him and every time she said something negative I pulled out another lyric.
I dropped her home and I noticed it was just after 2, she got caught in a spiderweb getting out of the car and I thought of adding one more line about getting caught in a spiderweb, but it didn't matter, COZ LARA GOT A NUMBER, but she got out of it, waved and I drove home, cranked up some Soulwax and sang the entire way.
I got home about 2:30ish and was fairly tired and in such a good mood, I wrote the email notes, fell asleep and then was woken up around 4 by my sister ringing me to let her in, then went back to sleep. And obviously you can see how the following day went,
I hope you enjoyed the emails and the lack of detail in my Saturday night, I was fairly drunk according to Miz and she asked me to stop around 10, which I did by downing Coke's the rest of the night. I was gonna go to Tropfest on Sunday, but was so tired, so I just wrote the email, went home with Hayward, paid too much for lunch, water and an OJ and then saw a friend, Tess, before staying up late and watching Big Bang Theory and staying up late watching a film I can't remember
And that's how I spent my weekend. 
If something happens this week. I'll probably throw it up some time this week.

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