Monday, March 28, 2011

Five Things People Don't Care About (or How I Was Lied to as a Teenager)

So in about a fortnight's time I leave my teendom behind, because that's not a word and I have to decide to labotomise myself for my twentieth birthday. In my two decades on this earth, I haven't done much, I have accomplished very little, been able to keep a mediocre blog going for at least 5 months at the very least, that's an accomplishment. I mean, people keep reading this...right?
I've found that in my time that there are a lot of things that I've learnt that have become useless such as the names of the Elite Four or the episode names of Futurama or even algebra, but of course my experience has been incredibly different from yours and so I now compile a very subjective list of shit that I constantly do or have done that I think in a few years I will try and get rid of.

Fuck you, Shakespeare
I move fast and whilst people who see my chubby exterior would guffaw, laugh or simply nod and then giggle by themselves later on, I move pretty fast and I've realised I don't need to. I need to do like five things in my life to keep on living, and being fast is not one of them. I became recently employed and I turned up quite early to my first day on the job, a trial, but still a job nonetheless. I also attended a party a fortnight ago, turning up on time as the Facebook Invite (a trusted source if there ever was one) said that we'd be meeting somewhere specific at a specific time, you know, like 9:00. However, I decided not to be a complete douche and turned up on time only having to wait an hour for the person who the party was for to turn up. Whilst I don't blame the girl in an respect, it was my final realisation, which I slightly sober talked over with a barmaid that it was this (and my next point) that people simply don't care about. Even in my punctuality I've developed a physical defect of having to walk fast everywhere...
No truer words...
Where the fuck do I have to be in such a hurry that I choose to ruin the ankles and feet of friends with my swiftness?
People still have jobs, still are enrolled into classes, still make money, still have awesome times they're  late, why should I not be? I want to say I am sorry to friends who have tried to keep up with me. I thought that for a while it was just a mental acquisition so people wouldn't think I was fat, slow and lazy, a trifecta for a future dead horse, but you know what, I know plenty of thin people who are slow and lazy. To anyone normal it just looks like I have to get to a bathroom quickly or I just don't know how to walk properly, something a friend pointed out to me recently. So I'll be re-learning how to walk, essentially, slow, taking my time, that's the main thing, take your time, get exercise and be on time and shit, but just let life wash over you...damn, I should have ended with that...oh well, have a dog instead...
Ah yes, the Universal love...dogs and cookies.


This one does seem like a bit more of a whine about the fact that there have been times where I've helped people and it hasn't gone the best way possible (i.e. being male and all) but even then it's more the fact that most pleas in the world that need help fall on deaf ears whilst we try and help those who don't need it.
I grew up in a fairly religious household, nothing too major, but whilst I renounced my faith like the heretic I am, I still kept a sense of being good to my fellow man, which is something that if religion teaches us anything is that it's good to help people out and that Jesus tastes like sweet wine.
Thanks man, I heard you go great with veal.
I've realised that people who need help will more than often ask for it, regardless of pride, if they really need it, they'll turn to the people who they know can help and that you really should just lay back, turn on your PS3 and just fucking chill out for a good time. I mean, even as I wrote that I know that those of you who are gonna be like, hey, maybe I shouldn't help out those people at work tomorrow with their technical problems when I clearly know what the problem is, because I just said not to worry, but in reality, you'll probably go in tomorrow (or the next day of work after you read this) and will probably be leaning in and being like, oh no, this is how you do it and making a bit of an ass of yourself.
So like yours, but you know, no annoying lenses.
People like to figure out things for themselves, it sticks, it makes them feel like they've done something worthwhile and whilst the example above may have been specific enough for someone to kinda step back next time the cute brunette is complaining about how pop-ups keep coming up and how it keeps telling her that she has to pay for this or that to get rid of it, let her boyfriend do it, or let her pay someone to do so, you're not being paid or blown, forget about it and whilst there is a duty for being a friend and co-worker, let's see what happens next time you have a problem with your girlfriend and need a shoulder to cry on.
Hey, Emma, you've got an empty shoulder!

I'm an incredible opinionated person and whilst the few of you will nod and some of you would have sarcastically gone No Really (P.S. You're not talking to anyone, this is a one-way street till you comment), I still wish to make clear that almost everything is subjective when looking at it in a perspective. I do not necessarily mean my own, but just as a generalisation. For a terribly easy example, people could easily say that Hitler and Twilight are the worst things in the world and whilst I would personally agree with both, I could probably still find or have the mindset to think that there will probably be Neo-nazi girls who like vampire novels.
They're called Prussian Blue. Do not Google them.
But Harrison, you run a blog?! You know why I run this blog, is because it's fun, I like sharing cool stuff and I don't like clogging up people's Facebook pages with hundreds of links and stupid words and stuff that to them mightn't matter, I only have to give the link to my blog now and it's just an easier way to work until I possibly get a Twitter account or am picked up by some site, but with a large impossibility nor a reason that either will be helpful for me or an audience, I still think that whilst an opinion, with a thought out logic or understanding from a person can really turn someone around on a piece of art or even a person.
Whoa, let's not get crazy now...
I think I developed this problem in primary school more than high school as an attention seeking little brat (and future man-child), I've found that over time people will not care what you have to say unless it is a shared or mass opinion or that you're famous. Considering I'm nothing of the latter and I'm rarely the former, I have come to the realisation that being popular or famous or whatever would probably not help me as I would have to deal with a lot of comments that whilst now in University, I cannot really deal with and also socially, I would be an instant outcast with the click of a mouse, which I understand the irony of discuss of a lack of care of opinions and yet I care what people think of me. Did you see the phrase attention seeking brat above?
Why God? Why?! They stopped showing Digimon!

Also, I've noticed that when it comes to maintaining this blog, is like maintaining your social life, you have to make a few words to make sure at least 10 people know you exist and that's all you need for people to believe that you're still alive...that didn't really have anything to do with this part but I didn't have a good segue into the next one.

Wouldn't be a blog post without a misaligned topical pop culture gag...
I know a lot of friends who drink and do drugs, we all do. It's a fact, I'm sure you personally know at least three or five people who do drugs and it's just a fact. People take pills, smoke a blunt, take a tab and it's a great way to wind down, some people are more simpler and just down a few beers and humiliate themselves in other ways, like trying to kiss a girl or pissing on the tire of a public. The point is that in moderation I think none of these things are bad and that people can still function in normal life after having them. Whilst I'm not advocating the use of these drugs, I am saying that...well, to be honest, weed really isn't that bad, but in all seriousness, that despite the amount of cirriculum and time and money given to kids in high school who are not ready to mentally process the seriousness of drugs and alcohol and are probably using said substances all ready, is that if they're gonna try it, they probably will. Based on their personality, peer group and knowledge of the drugs, alcohol, etc., they will probably try it and whilst that may sound a bit fatalist, it's just more than likely.
Yeah, that's likely when you're walking through the Museum of Big Red Letters.
Drugs can be bad and what they do to a lot of people is frightening and something I'd never want to experience or have to do, but they still had the free agency to choose to take those drugs and you have the same choice but also you have a little more pressure and that depending on the first time you try something, you'll probably have a positive or negative reaction, either personally or socially, which may or may not influence your future use. The point is that I'm not a scientist, nor an anthropologist and that this article (If you can call it that) is mainly just an outlet for me to not do an essay...speaking of which,
See this chart? You will die...someday...probably...

No, people aren't laughing at your snoring, they're laughing at what you say in your sleep.
Give up now. It's about who you know, not what you know. It's about where you're at and not where you want to be. The point is that you can work only so hard before you snap and simply break down and cry on your floor screaming the name of all of the producers who have turned you down. Everyone's experiences are different and you need to harness that and that's important, creatively and professionally, but being someone who views popular culture for a living, because he doesn't have a real job, I've found that Karma and Luck are the same thing and that most people don't have either and even then if they do get what they want and they become famous, even then they're usually lost in the shuffle of six billion people on this earth, in a galaxy, in a universe where we live our daily lives, stars explode, money changes hands and we still wake up at six every morning for no good reason whatsoever.
I read an article recently about the television show, LOST, and how the writers, like that of the writers of 24, would rarely come up with a proper structure for a season and were making the show up as they were going alone. Not only did this hurt for a guy who has been told time and time again that his work lacks structure and that this is no way to handle a professional script/story/relationship/etc., only to have a show that ran for six seasons, making millions of money, winning Emmy's and be based around what is essentially Gilligan's Island crossed over with Twin Peaks (another show where people were pulling things out of their arse).
The point is to find as many people you know in the industry, send them emails, send them your work, because you're not Justin Bieber and you're not just gonna be 'discovered', you need to be on the radar of people who are looking for people. Nag and bug and do work hard, but towards getting yourself into the industry....if that's where you wanna be.
Are you a director?
Aronofsky is out of Wolverine
Are you a writer?
Wonder Woman needs a lot of tweaking
Are you a producer?
How about giving Arrested Development some money.
Are you Michael Cera?
Can you give me a call?...
Put down the fucking guitar, pick up the phone!
The above work is not needed for those who are making independent work and loving it, do what you love, that's the main thing, if you work for only yourself, you can only ever be unhappy at one person...God.

No comments:

Post a Comment