Tuesday, February 22, 2011

This post is the best/worst thing ever.

As people who often read this blog, or rather the one of you who reads this blog (Sup Luke, I know that was grammatically incorrect), I get a lot of my comedy and news, when I feel like posting, from College Humor. Their site has harked to my days as a scruffy, chubby teen with my hair slightly longer and my voice slightly higher, College Humor would provide great laughs, despite my basic secondary school education. They've recently started up a site, similar to that of XKCD's Bestthing.info, but with pictures and the inability to add the worst thing as "Being raped by a dinosaur whilst hackers steal your identity", I've could have even provided my own picture.


The problem with polls such as this is the distinct behaviour of the average internet user will answer one of two ways. Firstly, they'll pick the honest answer, the tried and true method. For example, the first worst thing that popped up was a choice between the 2003 film, The Matrix Revolutions or jumping into a puddle and finding out it's deeper than it actually is. I genuinely think that the Matrix sequels aren't all that bad. Sure, they become a convoluted mess after the first film and never really amount to any proper philosophical or character-driven sequences with properly fused action, but it's not that bad. However, the latter I've never experienced. The closest I've ever come to that was being on a beach at night time, seeing a rock pool, pulling up my jeans and thinking it'd only reach just above my ankle before returning back to semi-dry land, water dripping from my knee, which leads to my second way, the 'obvious/imagined' answer.
My imagined answer for everything

I imagined answer for me would be the latter, because the obvious choice, this being the internet and all, would be the former. The Matrix Revolutions doesn't exactly have a perfect score on Rotten Tomatoes, but people have heard about the 'atrocity' for film that it has caused for geeks and nerds everywhere. This hearsay would obviously drag the score down, or rather higher, to the point which The Matrix Revolutions would be voted The Worst Thing ever, which it isn't. Thank God for the bright minds that follow the site as the top answer is...Falling Through Ice and Drowning.
The second is FUCKING GENOCIDE?!
Wow, it seems that personal experience trumps the death of millions. The rest of the top answers come down to socially awkward experiences (Waving to someone you thought was a friend) and minor annoyances in life that you could avoid (Having to take a dump after a shower, wasps, etc.)
Minor annoyance, am I?!
On the brighter side of the scale we have the best thing, which I believe comes down to one of two things as well. Either personal experience or shared experience. The first two things I got was having my mum (obviously, mom, since it is a US site, USA! USA!) surprise do my laundry vs. getting an extra hour of sleep because of daylight savings. First of all, I do my own laundry and my mum works really fucking hard, so to have her do it would be a surprise, but then I'd feel shitty about it. Sure I'm over thinking it, but still, it's a poll that would come down to relative subjectivity and personally I couldn't give a fuck if you think I'm overthinking. YOU'RE OVERTHINKING IT!
The latter doesn't really apply to me. I wake up at 7 or 8 pretty much every morning, I'm not sure if it's conditioning or I have a messed up body clock or my brain really hates me and thinks I should watch morning news shows such as Today and Sunrise then get a hammer and smash it in, but in all honesty I've found that daylights saving is just a way to catch a sunset earlier.
HOLY FUCK THAT'S BEAUTIFUL
See that's what I'd vote for best thing ever. Not necessarily the sunset at Hawke's Bay, New Zealand, but sunsets. They're something that happens every day and I can never get mad at it. It sums up so much for me. The day is over no matter how good or shitty it was. I can't fight it as it's nature, in the sky and my fear of height's and nature (see above) forbid me to do anything and I don't think I've ever seen a sunset twice, also Sunrises can go get fucked.
So if you wanna help in their fairly worth cause for voting for the worst thing or best thing ever. Visit the links below:
http://www.collegehumor.com/bestthing
http://www.collegehumor.com/worstthing

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