Tuesday, November 16, 2010


I love Bill & Ted. They are one of the seminal character duo's of my childhood. Up there with Wayne & Garth, Pinky & The Brain and Charlie & Uncle Joe, all of them are great teams but their motives are incredibly clear for their films/shows and prospective projects. However, Bill S. Preston and Ted 'Theodore' Logan are two incredibly stupid characters, so stupid in fact, they caused the world to fall under a fascist regime. How, do you ask? Well, here is a small shot from the film when they go to the future:

The actual look of these people are similar, wouldn't you say? They all dress the same, they all take simple orders and all have a very strange salute they all do...sound like some people you know.

Nazi Party On, Dudes

So what does that make Bill & Ted? Unexpected Hitler Youth's or idiot savants?
The initial clues lie within the people they pick up through most excellent time through history. Their cast of misfit historical figures will guide them on their journey to the future of a completely conformist regime. Starting with Napoleon, a great leader of an army and hilarious comic timing, his knowledge of conquering countries is bar-none to one of their other little pick-me-up, Genghis Kahn. Here we have two characters/historical figures who would clearly change the world for the worse by conquering their prospective continents. Kahn: 

Yes, yes, would supply the two with their take on how to bring down Asia and Napoleon would supply them with entry routes throughout most of Europe, I mean, what else could they have been talking about through their travels?
Hotness, I wanna bang you
Yeah, there could be that, but then they had Joan D'arc, who provides a great feminine figure for the film to portray a balance of not only great 'men' in history. But why pick up Joan? She is represented in the film in two ways, as a great leader:

and a great fighter. Let alone the religious iconography and representation means that Joan's status with the religious crowd with Bill & Ted would be solid. The first scene (above) she is taking to a group of fitness addicts, easily lead by Joan's rhythmic movements and healthy exercise. The representation from the two writers Chris & Ed, shows the addictive and consumerist nature which would eventually undermine the entire American population with having a great historical figure being their guide for fitness and health.
But why have Abraham Lincoln?
Abraham Lincoln was an incredibly trust-worthy American and would be an easy representation to bring down the world with him on their side, of course, the easiest way to get rid of Lincoln would just send him to the theatre or have him talk to his wife. The reason why Billy The Kid is there, was merely just because it was an accident, but having two American icons could truly persuade voters to get the two elected into office at least. In fact, with the time machine, they'd be unstoppable for the amount of people they could get to pass them off as good guys.
And Beethoven?
Beethoven was a musician and how did the Nazi's control the populace? With culture. Hiring up journalists, writers, actors and musicians, Hitler helped create an entire new culture for the country which would not have been fixed until Kraftwerk came along.
We do not support Bill & Ted...
The use of composers like Wagner were used during World War II and kept the soldiers at a distant pace to letting the culture of their country wash over them, much like their hatred for anything white. And speaking of Beethoven, he was German, now who else was German in their group?
Oh, Sigmund wasn't German, but his philosophical insights would have helped the group use the psychological teachings of Freud to denigrate the entire world with reverse engineering his words, using the man himself, much like the reason why they kidnapped Socrates as well. Using people such as Aristotle and Plato to put forward the ideas of Catharsis, Mimesis and the cave analogy, people would be confused for years, whilst Bill & Ted started taking over the world, also he's clearly changed with this one montage.
Socrates...I'm ashamed.
Despite the actually characterisations are fairly wrong to their realistic historical depictions (i.e. Socrates would join NAMBLA, Genghis would be caught for rape, Billy would be caught on unlicensed fire-arm charges, etc.), this entire group of mad cap characters and antics, help two basic high school idiots to change the entire world with their music and then changed it again till all the people looked the same, dressed the same and follow orders blindly. It's a future I really don't really look forward to, much like watching the sequel.*Oh well, one thing that's good to come from it, at least there are no hipsters.
Seig heil, dudes!
*I really love the sequel to death and brings an interesting characterisation and philosophical addition to the series.

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