Sunday, November 7, 2010

Morning Roll Call 7/11 - Sellout Edition


So when you can go down to your nearest 7/11 and pick dat shit up
So what's actually been happening today other than me being an unpaid corporate shill?,2845,2372206,00.asp
In news we kinda didn't already know, the Large Hadron Collider can make mini-big bangs...which should not be construed with the small web clips shown on of their hit show which I love so very very much.
In movie news, Jeremy Renner (The Hurt Locker) will be playing the new Snake Plissken or is in talks for playing him, in the upcoming Escape from New York remake. The original is a classic for 80's sci-fi cinema and really should be seen to be believed. It's not even like one of those hookum dytopia films, it's genuinely, action-packed with really dark and dreadful set pieces.
In Cliffy B should shut his fucking mouth, again, news, the Gears of War creator has come out and said, in lieu  of the recent Califronia cases, that his game has more slapstick violence than gratituitous. For a quick example, do you think you'd let a 12-year-old watch, let alone play the following game:

Probably not.
In kinda, fucking dumb sports news (look all sports news really isn't fucking dumb, or irrelevant for that matter). apparently they've found another Paul the Octopus...yippee, I guess.
In tech news, US Phone company ATT and have come out and said that the new Windows Phone 7 has had little to no pre-orders. Pre-orders being the new, OH SHIT IT'S GONNA SELL, ticket, which isn't wrong but if you hold your company up against Apple (despite making far more money than them for a decade or so and getting to live in sweet huge fucking houses), you're probably destined to fail...unless you're Google....or you start selling off large amounts of DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS, I mean, shares.
Oh and apparently 4G ISN'T really 4G....BUT IT'S CALLED 4G!
Oh and apparently there's a  dead pixel problem with their phones and they know about it, but they don't care.
Sweet Mac vs. PC image from:
Which is awesome.
In slightly weird news, Keith Olbermann has been suspended from MSNBC after being paid some 'donations'. Of course, about a month ago Fox News sent out a good million dollars to the GOP, know, in case.
In music news, apparently Love the way you lie PART 2 has been leaked

Love The Way You Lie Part2 FT Alex Feather Akimov
Uploaded by JaneLoveMusic. - See the latest featured music videos.
In sad NASA news, NASA is sad because people have been leaking things and that means they can't put a thing into space...awwww
In more science news, 1/2 of US Congress doesn't believe in climate change, no sirree Bob. All them birds dyin' and all them ice cliffs falling, all God, telling us dat dem homer-sexuals are all gonna doom us all, by the way is it hot in here, Imma turn on my air con full blasht.
Yes, I have a skewed view at what Americans sound, look and are like...and Alaska as well, which apparently is a state, in the same way Sarah Palin is a politician...and that science will actually progress in the US without stem cell bills getting passed.
Also Obama apparently likes Gossip Girl.
Our first Kinect tragedy, this was posted at about some time after 1:30AM last night
I love this description the user gives:
"A public service announcement: Do not under any circumstances play Kinect Sports Volleyball at 1:30 a.m. while standing under a ceiling fan with a dangling chain for a light switch. You could conceivably spike it into your year-old amazing TV, causing it to die with a rainbow LCD teardrop dripping down from the impact wound. Plus you'll lose the match by forfeit"
I'm waiting for a double rainbow teardrop.
In portion size wonder we're fat.
In dance craze news, DO THE BERNIE!
In pirate news, apparently most releases take 6 minutes to spread around the internet, not really surprised, these tubes are lubed.
In sweet christ news, check out these Alamo Drafthouse posters
In PR news, people can spin whatever the fuck they want, however the fuck they want.
In electric car news, they are apparently no longer gay.
In slightly crazy news, a woman has demanded cunnilingus in West Virginia, at knife point...which apparently may count as sodomy.
Time Warner still wondering whether or not to actually do a Premium on Demand service for their films. All I can say is that Netflix has 99% of the market, essentially and that 360 and PS3 users aren't really using the service as you know, good luck...oh and also torrents.
A prank caller from Michigan is under arrest for saying he threw a baby in a river. The man claims he was bored and drunk. Apparently in Detroit there are no bars or good TV shows to keep the drunk underwraps.
In awww news, Dave Grohl wears disguises to have fun with his kids, apparently Halloween is the best time for them.

Joel McHale is a bad ass

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